Helpppppp

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I am a seriously heavy smoker i smoke fom the minute i wake up to the minute i go to sleep. I would absolutely say i am dependant and i hate getting this way. I am 20 years old and have smoked weed considering that age 9…yeah. Um.. weed fundamentally guidelines my fucking life and im so sick of it, my situations and life circumstance is farrr from typical and dont seriously want to disclose as well considerably but i endure badly with depression and axienty in most types that it comes, from social anxiousness to sexual anxiousness. Weed seriously slows my brain and believed course of action and tends to make it simpler for me to numb my feelings towards issues that would otherwise drive me insane and emoionally and mentally get the improved of me, so i guess its a coping mechanism and an excuse to escape reality i guess id have to admit. Also want to add that i by no means in fact get &quothigh&quot, i dont get the giggles or anyhing like that i actually just really feel typical once again and its like waking up and beginning your day not placing on your glasses and attempting to reside like its a typical day (if that even tends to make sense?) But it&#039s becoming far more than a difficulty now since i can’t sleep with out it, its intense insomnia and as you can inagune that would interfere with perform ect, not to mention the price of my habit (£20-30 per day) i sweat constantly and cant even kind on my telephone screen since my hands are so wet, and everywhere else fo that matter. I will smoke at 12 at evening and wake up at eight and currently be withdrawing, if i dont have it i get exceptionally vivid nightmares and physical stomach discomfort, headaches, joint discomfort, back discomfort..i sound like im 80 years old lol. I am argumentative, irratible and exceptionally impatient when i dont have it and i do prioritise weed more than a lot of issues. And now its got to the point exactly where i actually dont get hungry unless i smoke weed, the believed of meals when sober/withdrawing tends to make me really feel sick and i just dont get hungry. I really feel like my physique has been forced to make irreversable alterations and switches in my brain just dont perform unless i smoke weed and activate them. The most frustrating factor is that this is all in the thoughts and if you definitely make your self think that you dont have to have or want or like weed, soon after a handful of days/weeks repetition, that will develop into your undeniable truth. But this is exactly where i struggle, i have for a although now even thought of if i may perhaps have slight bipolar disorder since i am constantly fighting battles involving my personal thoughts and i actually can’t quit fighting with myself on each selection i make in life, its seriously affecting me, even standing in a shop i take so lengthy since i argue with myself so lengthy for what to get, basic issues like lemon or strawberry water, why is it so tough ? Why am i arguing with myself in my head?? Just choose a damn drink currently?? (15 minutes later im nonetheless fucking there staring at the drinks) And i waste sooo considerably of my life arguing with myself. I just really feel like two various persons all the time and it feels like no matter what selection i lastly do make, its by no means the correct 1 since on the other hand i had the oher me telling me to make the oher option, its so confusing but i just often really feel regretful and its a fucking heavy feeling man:(. I dont know how or even if this relates to cannabis at all but this is exactly where i ended up taking you in this story ( btw i am higher rn so if it doesnt make considerably sense then excuse me lol, it did make sense in my head at the time&#x1f602)

&#032 submitted by &#032 /u/BarbieMermaidxox
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